two_days_until_forever's Xanga

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 19:10:46 GMT

I don't normally do "this is how my day went" posts anymore. But I had a horrible day! First, I was late to school, and I'm sure I'll be receiving a detention notice any day now. That would be my second detention of my life, you know. I was crying this time too. My guidance counselor was trying to make me feel better about it, because it was just being a couple minutes late to homeroom. But, still, it just feels so wrong! Now I'll probably be stuck with that bald guy that gives me weird looks like he did in my last detention. I'm totally not a bad girl at school! I mean, I wouldn't have cared about a detention if I was! But, since I truly do care, I was tearing up. I was also supposed to see my Geometry teacher so he could try to explain radicals to me and I could take a test that I missed from a while ago. He's a great teacher, but I'm so slow with understanding radicals... let alone dividing and multiplying them! He was also very nice when I explained why I didn't show up in the morning.

I did score a goal in Gym class floor hockey. It was luck, because in no way am I skilled or athletic! I actually do enjoy some sports. But I know I'm not great at them! At lunch, my friend's boyfriend broke up with her so she was crying a lot. I felt so sorry for her. She's such a sweet girl! I did okay on the Biology test I took today, but the French test was so hard! There's no way that I did well on that test. Absolutely everyone said it was way too difficult! At the end of the day, I found out I have a job interview for a pizza place that I really want to work at! The woman who owns the place, Rosa, also said that she "really liked" me! I really hope that I get the job! I really want to work. I think I used "really" about a million times talking about my potential employment.

I also just found out that an old friend of mine lost everything, including all of her pets' lives, in a fire yesterday. Her mom has some burns, but otherwise her family is okay. I saw the pictures of her house, and it was completely destroyed by the flames. I can't image the heartbreak and grief that her family must feel for all of their lost pets, possessions, and their home. I hope their family will stay strong and that God will be with them as they try to recover from this horrible tragedy.

There are a thousand other things going on, but I'm not really in the mood to blog about them now.

Always, Two Days Until Forever

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 17:10:39 GMT

Looking at my friends, I noticed a characteristic about almost all of them. I'm drawn to tortured souls. That sounds quite horrific. But I often befriend those who have seen the darker sides of life. I feel as if they can understand me whenever I need to talk. I feel as if I can relate to them or understand them even if I haven't been through the same things they have experienced. I think about the people that I'm not usually friends with - the kind and ordinary people who haven't been afflicted with too much. I have no problems with these people at all! I just don't connect completely with them, and therefore a sort of distance exists between us. I feel like I live in a completely different world, and well, I know that I do.

Also, I have to keep so many secrets to myself, or simply a very small group of trustworthy friends, because I know everyone else wouldn't understand. They haven't been through it, so they cannot comprehend the events and the emotions at all. The sad part is that most of them don't even try. They attempt to share your dark secrets in an ugly way of warped gossip, when it's just the reality of my life. So many people will most likely never know how I really feel and what I have been through. But, it doesn't matter since I know that if I told them, it wouldn't mean what it should.

Always, Two Days Until Forever

Contrast

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 20:44:08 GMT

I hate when people tell me what to do, but I love when people tell me that I am not able to do something. I don't mean in not being allowed to do something, but in being incapable. I hate pressure but I love proving myself. I don't necessarily desire someone constantly telling me I'm incapable of everything. But, when it's for the right thing, the negativity becomes my fuel. Over the years, I have encountered many people that did not believe in me. But, I have either knocked them cold with my current accomplishments or I have them in the waiting to be surprised. I don't develop an "in-your-face" sort of ego. But I do say, "Well, here I am, exactly where you said I would never be."

I'm a feminist, but I am also feminine. I'm independent and romantic. I'm an introvert and an extrovert when I'm not. It may sound like a dichotomy, but I don't feel ambivalent at all. I feel like me. I like to see two sides to extremes and find the balance of the two. I believe in empowering women but in also being a woman. I believe in having the ability to stand on your own but also in being able to fall in love. I believe in solitude but also socializing. I find my sense of peace when I stand in the middle of nature.

There are times when you cannot compromise. This is my truth when it comes to faith and character. I have no difficult in loving others with different religious or spiritual beliefs. But, I do struggle a bit with lesser character. I would never disrespect someone or start drama for fun or immature things like that. I have a hard time getting along with those people or saying something to them. I confess to being judgmental in situations where innocent people are hurt. It's something I have to work on, but I know I can do it.

I Believe In World Peace

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 20:19:09 GMT

I am a teen queen, but my views concerning world peace are not a front for pageantry. I have always believed that global peace is attainable. I do believe that corruption can be taken care of. I do believe that innocent people can depend on a functional and responsible government. I trust that crime will ease and that justice will be honest. I believe that hate and stereotypes will no longer be tolerated. I believe that human beings can get along and work together in harmony. I believe that animals will no longer be abused. I believe that humans will not be denied of their deserved equal rights and freedoms. I believe that love will make the world go round. I believe in this with my whole heart. I believe in these dreams, and one day I will actively contribute to bringing them all into reality.

People do not take the concept of world peace seriously. People seem to think that I believe that world peace is something that will happen overnight. World peace is something to strive for with one little step at a time. World peace requires intelligence and demands loving all people equally. World peace requires action to become possible. You only hold yourself back when you think of the darkness in the present. When you step back and think of all that has been accomplished, you realize that mountains have been moved ever since human beings have existed. We have made mistakes along the way, and we still have a distance to travel, but this is human nature after all. But, if we work towards progress and maintain hope for the future, then we can accomplish anything we set our minds to.

World peace is not perfection. World peace adapts to all societies and cultures with respect and reason for all. World peace is the dignified maintenance of neighborly cooperation, understanding and acceptance. I believe world peace is an accomplishment within reach. When you look out of the window of the world, it may be hard to see now. But there is a glimmer of hope in the stars and sun that tells me that this dream should not be let go.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:11:17 GMT

As a child, there are so many promises that you make and not so many that you can keep. I had vowed never to let life harden me, but sadly I have given in to a bit of the power. I have been through so much, and been kept far away from my dreams for too long. It's almost expected that I wouldn't start to transform. But there is always something inside that does not let me give up. Sometimes I contemplate surrendering to the darkness and abandoning my hope. Sometimes I run far away from reason and faith. But something inside never lets me get away with losing hope. Hope may seem small at times, but it is always there.

I always have thought that I have seen the lowest point in my life, only to go down deeper. I always think that tomorrow is the day everything will change. But the tomorrow I hold on for is more distant than the true tomorrow. The tomorrow that keeps me going is in my future, but I don't know exactly when this tomorrow is. The only answer that this tomorrow will one day be real. I know that this dream of tomorrow will come true. Until then, all I can do is live with today.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 20:32:10 GMT

I have been talking to a friend of mine quite regularly, and I have only just started to realize how well I know myself. Whenever I have a feeling, belief or thought, I accept and know it as part of my identity. I rarely question or doubt my identity anymore. When I try to explain certain characteristics, I understand how complicated I can be. But the complexity makes perfect sense to me. I do like to be around people, but I also need a lot of isolation. I have learned a lot about myself through years and years of solitude. I love being able to have deep and uninterrupted thoughts and emotions. I have discovered a number of my strengths and weaknesses through contemplation. My conviction for my dreams has also developed in my solitude.

Some people go crazy within solitude, but I thrive with the isolation. I don't think about the issues of not being with friends. Instead, I focus on the things that I can accomplish in the times without them. Naturally, I definitely need time with my friends, but I also need the moments for independent reflection. I truly enjoy being with friends, and there is nothing in the world that can compare to the strength and beauty in the solid friendships that I have. But, if I am around people in general constantly, I become very drained. I crave balancing my time between friends and myself. Sometimes it's good enough, and other times I become quite stressed out.

The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for. -Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:30:27 GMT

I haven't been around for a while. I know. I would rather not talk about what has happened, but just where I am at this very moment. I am hesitant to bother with homework even though I know I have to at some point. I am exhausted from not being able to sleep well. I am relatively in a good mood, though. I am contemplating my dreams from last night. I am thinking about a guy I've been trying to flirt with very lightly and wishing I could read his mind. I am waiting for American Idol. I am happy that I am finally updating this blog, after over a month of silence. I didn't have the best start to 2009, and things are pretty tough right now. But you all know me. I always look ahead and dream of something better.

Always, Two Days Until Forever

Survey, Part 5

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 23:46:43 GMT

I have been obsessed with Kanye West for these past few days. It's crazy, but he truly is a great musician. Many people thought he was arrogant for calling himself the voice of the generation, but I do agree. Anyways, survey time!

401. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you?

I'm still in high school. But, while I do believe education is a priviledge and also very important to people, I enjoy pursuing my passions - which usually occurs during non-school hours. So, high school isn't really critical to the 'best time of my life.'

402. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try?

Therapy. A lot of people are very hesitant about therapy and have narrow opinions about something they have not experienced.

403. Which is better: Mel Brooks or Woody Allen?

I'll go with Woody Allen.

404. When was the last time you were up all night?

I did this once in my life to finish Les Miserables. I was walking into walls and murmuring nonsense in the morning. My mom had me stay home from school. I never tried to pull an all-nighter again.

405. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank.

Love

406. Are people too complex and different to be categorized?

Absolutely. There are so many words that are necessary to describe most people and it can be tedious to consider all of those words. I would rather appreciate the feelings and thoughts I receive from being around others.

407. Is it good to have pride in your own race or does that separate people from each other because it makes them think of everyone else as 'outsiders'?

Race is a natural part of one's identity. I think it is important to value your own race but also equally respect others of different races.

408. What fictional story would you like to live through?

Harry Potter or Twilight, which I can imagine to be a cliche answer.

409. Are cats or dogs smarter?

Cats!

410. Have you ever guessed someone's password and broken into their diary?

No, that's a terrible thing to do! I do confess to being guilty of snooping around rooms sometimes, though (but not to go through diaries, e-mail accounts, or text message inboxes - none of that).

411. What teacher, if any, has effected you the most in your life?

My fourth and sixth grade teacher, who was the same wonderful woman. I hope to become famous someday to introduce her to Oprah and buy her a sportscar, which she requested. Miss Davison really believed in me and I could never forget about her!

412. Are you more easily bored or excited?

Sadly, bored.

413. What's the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done?

I'm bold in public speaking and pageants.

414. "What's the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking?" (- Adam Ant)

That's a good quote. It's very thought-provoking.

415. If your man or woman served you breakfast in bed as a treat what would you want?

I love waffles! I hate pancakes and I always eat dry cereal. I'm a very picky breakfast eater, to be honest!

416. What do you do only when you are upset?

Procrastinate.

417. What's the oddest CD in your collection?

Hm, I couldn't say. All of my CDs are artists I enjoy listening to.

418. What's the best diary name you ever saw?

Mine! Haha.

419. What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?

Very much. I can be completely secretive about a number of things.

420. Who owes you an apology?

Apologies should not be a debt. Apologies should come from the heart and be said for a reason.

421. Who deserves an apology from you?

My ex Bobby. I used him as a rebound, and yet he was the most wonderful guy to me. I felt awful because I still had feelings for my ex before him. I didn't value him until it was too late. He deserved better than me.

422. How would you like to treat your kids differently from the way your parents treated you?

Not to give light to the way I was raised, I would raise my children to feel loved and supported every single second.

423. Which do you like best: 60's, 70's or 80's fashion?

80's

424. What is the worst pick up line ever used on you?

There was a weird one about the differences between heaven and hell, and something with me and heaven... it was ridiculous. I don't even remember how it goes.

425. Of the following, which word best describes you: inventive, kinetic (energetic), light-hearted, mature?

Mature. I have always been very mature. I have been a little adult all my life. It's just my nature. I never felt like a child. I did have some naivete, of course, but I was always very mature.

426. Do you own a record player? Do you use it?

No and no.

427. How easily do you make friends?

It all depends on the individual.

428. What is the difference between having character and being a character?

Having character is about being a reasonably moral and ethical person. Being a character means that you are not being true to your real identity.

429. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch?

Snakes and rats.

430. Do you care about your weight?

Yes.

431. Did you/will you go to the prom?

Prom should be cute. I don't imagine it to be a fantasy, but I will probably enjoy myself when the time comes.

432. Have you ever wanted to date twins?

I wanted to date one twin but not the other.

433. What one thing would you change about high school if you could?

Can we remove all the creepy guys, please?

434. If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

'Caution: Honest.' I can be very bold and I hold little back.

435. Are you artistic and creative?

Very much so.

436. What were you (probably) doing on this date last year?

Preparing for a speech.

437. What are you obsessed with?

I'm a little infatuated with Georg.

438. What was the last compliment you received?

That I was generous.

439. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

One brother and two sisters.

440. Who would you like to be alone with right now?

Georg, of course!

441. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer?

Rarely or never.

442. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage?

A prenup can be important if one person has a significant amount of money and divorce is rather likely. But I would rather choose romance and trust, and have three bank accounts: mine, his, and ours.

443. Do you lie your way out of things?

Occasionally. Sometimes white lies keep me from stepping on people and hurting their feelings.

444. Are you better at talking or listening?

It depends on the person.

445. What will only happen to you once in this lifetime?

Hopefully marriage!

446. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible?

Not necessarily.

447. What are the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken to you?

Nothing is truly coming to mind at the moment. I have heard wonderful things but nothing specific is ringing a bell.

448. If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)?

No.

449. Have you ever read your own writing at a poetry reading?

No.

450. What is one simple thing that gives you the happy shivers?

Georg!

451. What do you do for exercise?

I imitate and follow videos on the computer.

452. Would you rather have a strict teacher with a sense of humor or a lenient teacher that doesn't teach?

I want the teacher that will help me learn the most.

453. If you ever have a baby what might you want to name it?

I have so many names on my mind, because I want to have many children. I would love if my husband took a step back and basically just left the naming ordeal up to me. Or that he would agree with my names!

454. If you won free tickets to a concert from a radio show and had to choose between Inxs, Poison, Blondie and Moby, which would you choose?

Blondie.

455. Are you a good cook?

Overall yes.

456. Do you prefer when things come with no assembly required, even if they are a bit more expensive?

It depends.

457. Start a sentence with the words: what if

Wouldn't that make a question, though?

458. Are you more spontaneous and unpredictable or loyal and routine?

I'm very spontaneous. I'm trying to get into routines and to become more disciplined.

459. What is the highest number you can count to in your head?

I can count for a very long time but why would I?

460. How do you go about losing weight?

Healthy means - diet and exercise.

461. Do you have street smarts?

Not really.

462. Do you have a lot of common sense?

Yes.

463. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Chocolate chip cookie dough.

464. What's your favorite movie that involves dancing?

Step Up

465. Would you ever want to become a guest on a talk show? If yes what would the show's theme be?

Sure! I have no idea.

466. Do you like the way you look naked?

This is an awkward question. Um, no. But I hope to someday.

467. Have you ever dissected an animal?

A fish. It was gross!

468. Who do you know who is brilliant?

TORI! And all my Sarah friends.

469. Who do you know who is dull?

I'll be nice and not drop names.

470. Do you ever think about time travel?

I always want to fast forward and see my future.

471. What is one interesting fact you know?

Flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp.

472. Do you talk to yourself?

Inside my thoughts. I don't know what's so ridiculous about the talking-to-yourself concept!

Do you talk to your pets?

I used to.

473. Do you believe that humankind has a future in space (will we live there some day)?

I think it could happen.

474. Would you rather wear clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty or more delicate outfits?

Delicate outfits.

475. How do you 'live life to the fullest'?

Following my heart.

476. Are you sloppy or a neat freak?

I'm disorganized.

477. Would you rather have a trunk full of nickels or half a trunk full of dimes?

Can't I just have a dollar bill equivalent?

478. What is the worst mistake you've ever made?

Tough call.

479. Are you in good health?

Overall.

480. Are you patriotic?

Yes I am.

Let's play fact or crap. Is it a fact? Or is it crap?

I'm totally guessing.

481. The greenhouse effect is bad for your health.

No.

482. There are about as many molecules of air in one breath as there are hairs on your head.

No.

483. The Miss America pageant started out as a contest in which people decorated wheel chairs and one chair was judged the prettiest.

No.

484. To remove a tattoo a physician can place a small balloon under the skin, which is inflated so that the tattooed skin gradually stretches. Then they cut the stretched skin away.

No.

485. Cock fighting is a sexual sport.

No.

486. It is the warmest time of the day during the hour that the sun is the highest in the sky.

Yes.

487. Certain scientists specialize in studying cow farts.

I sure hope not!

488. The brilliant colors (reds, oranges, yellows) across the sky that we get from sunsets are caused mainly by pollution.

No.

489. In Grimm's original fairy tale, Rapunzel is pregnant.

No.

490. Dracula was the first movie about a vampire.

Yes.

491. The inventors of Corn Flakes, the Kellogg brothers, ran a school for delinquent youth.

Yes.

492. "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo.

No.

493. Sir Thomas Crapper invented the toilet.

No.

494. The Earl of Sandwich invented the Sandwich.

No.

495. Some Chinese alchemists were trying to invent an immortality medicine and accidentally invented gunpowder instead.

Yes.

496. The human body is made of about 99% water.

No.

497. Bubble gum contains rubber.

No.

498 This survey to the zero power = 0.

No.

499. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

No.

500. There are 86401 seconds in day.

No.

Wow, that's a lot of no's!

Always, Two Days Until Forever

Survey!

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:17:52 GMT

Let go for a while, yes, but not forgotten! Part four! (I have some catching up to do...)

301. List 5 things you have not experienced that you would like to experience before you die.

A: Travel to France and Italy, which I will get to do in my junior year

B: Travel to Germany

C: Live in New York City for a little while or have an extended hotel stay

D: Have a family and a husband of my own

E: Take a week or a month or some amount of time to do risky things, like jumping out of a plane with a parachute

302. Will you try to accomplish any of these things within the next year?

I will be saving money for France and Italy!

303. What do you feel controlled by?

Myself, commitments to things around me such as school and my mom

304. If Jesus appeared to you and told you that the moon was made of green cheese would you believe him?

I can't imagine this happening!

305. What is one thing you are sure of?

Dreams have the opportunity to come true.

306. At what part of the day do you feel the most alert?

At night! I'm rather nocturnal.

307. Have you ever played in a band?

In elementary school, a few friends and I wanted to create a girl "rock band" called "Glitter." Never happened, but we started writings songs. I continued writing songs after the band ideas fell apart and continue to write to this day. I have certainly improved!

308. Have you ever stared into the ocean thinking 'early creatures crawled outta that'?

No. I prefer to see the world in a beautiful, poetic light instead of a scientific one.

309. If not, what do you think of when you are staring into the ocean?

I observe the scene and reflect upon life. The ocean is usually a very peaceful and calm image, just like the falling rain, and my mind reaches a peak of wonderful clarity during those moments.

310. Do you like the mental challenge of chess or other games?

Sometimes. But I'm more into art than challenging my mind, to be perfectly honest.

311. Do you ever think of where your atoms were before they were in you?

No.

312. Do you ever think about where your atoms will go after they have been in you?

No.

313. If you didn't know that people couldn't fly do you think that you could?

It all depends on one's interpretation of flight. I say people can fly...

314. Are you someone that others call when they're having a problem and want to talk about it?

To certain people, yes. If you're on my good side, feel free to come to me whenever you need or want to.

315. When it comes to literature, do you see beyond the writing and into the meaning intended by the author?

Yes, especially if I enjoyed the book.

316. Is there anything you can take apart completely, and then put back together, and have no left over parts?

I'm not so sure about literally, but figurately I could answer myself.

317. What are your feelings about the death penalty?

I truly think that death belongs in the hands of God and not in man's control.

318. If there was a God and you could ask him/her one question what would it be?

I would ask for God to guide me through life. I wouldn't want to know anything that I do not already beyond what God intends for me to learn along the journey.

319. Do you believe that life will be found on other planets?

It's a curious thing to consider. I think so.

320. What is something worth suffering for?

Love

321. If you could put an extra eye on your body anywhere you wanted, where would you put it?

The two on my face and the one in the back of my head works pretty well. I'm good with those.

322. Are you in touch with the earth and nature?

I do experience lovely moments of natural serenity.

323. Would you rather live simply or extravagently?

I would rather live a balanced life.

324. Have you ever been camping?

Yes. With the right company, camping can be an enjoyable experience.

325. Is your heart open when you meet someone new?

Sometimes.

326. Are you able to have conversations with and become friends with people who are not like you and are interested in different things than you are?

My closest friends are very different from me, so absolutely.

327. Are strangers more beautiful or frightening to you?

Depends on the stranger.

328. What stops you from doing everything you want to do?

All things happen when they are supposed to. Something may not happen when I want it to, but it simply wasn't the time for that something to occur.

329. Can you think of three adjective that do not apply to you at all?

Unscrupulous, unfaithful, unforgiving

330. How do you feel about Jeremy Jaynes, who got a nine year prison sentence for spamming people with junk email? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Jaynes)

Does that matter?

331. Do you know who the current premier of China is?

No.

332. Are you very active?

On and off.

333. Is there a city that reminds you of the landscape of your brain?

Not necessarily.

334. Have you ever loved someone who has loved you back?

No, my first and only love so far was an unrequited one, although we were in a relationship. But I have cared deeply for people that I have been in relationships with.

335. Is it really being 'in love with' someone if the other person doesn't love you?

Yes, that's unrequited love.

336. Do you believe that there is someone perfect for everyone or that people just fall in love with who ever they are with at the time?

I believe in soul mates for love and the journey of life.

337. Do you know secret things?

Oh yes.

338. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have?

Many bad boys radiate a captivating allure... but none of them have stumbled into more of a crush.

339. How do you overcome your fears?

Facing your fears is an exhilarating cure.

340. What can you do better than anyone you know?

Public speaking

341. Would you benefit from a wilder existence?

I doubt it.

342. Does it seem to you like the range of socially acceptable behavior is getting smaller or larger?

Definitely larger!

343. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nothing more dangerous than a water gun, and I pray to keep it that way.

344. Are people becoming more afraid of each other?

I wouldn't say so.

345. If you had to choose the percentage of freedom vs. safety what ratio would you decide on (ex: 100% free 0% safe)?

I think this should be decided by the general people, not a sole figure of authority.

346. Does safety stifle you?

Not usually, but sometimes.

347. Who or what needs to be stopped?

Heartless people.

348. Are human beings becoming more domesticated?

It all depends on the perspective you assume. I wound say humans are domestic in some forms and becoming more animalistic in others.

349. Do you follow the lives of the British Royal Family?

No.

350. How did the death of Pope John Paul II (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_John_Paul_II) affect you?

I simply read about it on the news. But may he rest in peace.

351. Have you ever lost something and never found it?

Yes.

352. Do you listen to any talk radio shows?

No.

353. Who do you trust more, your friends or your parents?

My friends, although I have wished it could have been different. But now I realize that some families are dysfunctional and there is nothing you can do about it. Just because someone is in your "family" doesn't mean they care about you or your feelings.

354. Would you ever date someone outside of your race or religion?

Yes.

355. Which of the 7 deadly sins in the worst (gluttony, greed, pride, lust, envy, wrath, sloth)?

I'll go with pride. Arrogance disgusts me.

356. Which one are you most guilty of?

Envy

357. Are you afraid to be alone with yourself?

Yes, and I wish I was more hopeful.

Do you try to avoid thinking?

No, although I admit I can think too much at times.

358. Would you venture to tell someone you loved him or her if they didn't say it first?

If I did love them, I probably wouldn't mind being the first to say so.

359. What are you the most sensitive about?

Improper judgment

360. What can you talk about for hours?

Georg!

361. Do you talk about yourself, other people, or ideas the most?

I probably talk about myself the most.

362. Do you believe that spell casting can work?

In song lyrics.

363. Are you a fan of The Legend of Zelda games?

No, but I know people who are.

364. What old movie would you go see if it were re-released in the movie theaters?

Singing in the Rain! Not a remake! If Zac Efron dared to touch that film, I would do something very terrible about it! I'm devastated enough by 'Footloose.'

365. Is there a celebrity that you would be too starstruck to talk to if you met them?

Sophia Loren, a relative of mine. But I want to meet her someday and hopefully I can make something of it!

366. Have you ever left a mean unsigned note?

Yes.

367. Do you think it's cheesy to paste things you didn't write into your diary?

For words, it can be, but not so for pictures.

368. What are three things that you try not to think about?

Science, math, dumb comedy movies.

369. Is casual sex acceptable for you?

Not at all. This is a 'never' on my list.

370. What form of sexual protection do you use?

Abstinence.

371. What is expected of you that you feel is unnatural or not right?

A 'safe' career path. I believe in following my heart and pursuing my dreams.

372. Do you sometimes place your own expectations on other people?

I try to encourage others to believe in themselves, to dream, to live, and to love. I don't expect these things, but feel that people should strive for those things.

373. Do you sometimes act overeager to make friends when you are around strangers?

No, I can be shy.

374. Do you take everything that is said literally?

It depends on the person and what vibe I receive from them.

375. Do you take most things others say seriously?

Yes.

376. Do you have a quick wit?

At times, yes.

377. Do you believe in the need for political correctness?

Not always.

378. Do you have strong opinions and beliefs?

Yes

379. If yes, can you still hang out with and be friends with people who disagree with you?

Yes, and I can prove it.

380. Are you uptight?

I have my moments.

381. Do you sometimes do risky things?

I try to.

382. Could just about anyone hold your interest in a conversation for at least ten minutes?

No.

383. Are you self-conscious?

Terribly so, but over time I have become less self-conscious.

384. What would be your ideal destination for a Saturday afternoon?

Somewhere romantic with Georg...

385. Does anyone have a video tape of you doing something embaressing?

Yes!

386. What is Kevin Smith’s(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Smith) best movie?

Ugh, I hate the link questions, I do!

387. Where do you like to go on Friday or Saturday nights?

I actually prefer staying at home. I like my solitude.

388. Do you like your friends to act the same way all the time or do you accept their moods and changes?

I'm happily tolerant of their changing moods and minds.

389. Do you often feel like other people are judging you?

Heavily, yes.

390. What do you think other people judge you to be like?

A calm person who lived a simple life. Illusions, darling.

391. Are you quick to judge others?

If I feel a need to.

392. When you have a fight with someone do you want to talk about it right away or calm down first and then talk?

Calm down first, but I can be rational pretty quickly.

393. Some say love is a river (according to the old song). What do you say love is?

Love is presented through serendipity.

394. What is the worst fault a person can have?

When a person is selfish and cruel to others, that's the worst trait I believe one can have.

395. Do you have it?

No.

396. Which do you think has more impact on a person’s character, genetics or environment?

Environment.

397. Who was your first best friend?

Her name was Michelle.

398. If you are not best friends anymore, what came between you?

Differences.

399. Who have you read a biography about?

Sadly no one is coming to mind at the moment.

400. What would your own autobiography be called?

I think it's a bit early in my life to judge, despite all that I have endured already. I know my last second could be any moment now, but inside I feel that much more is yet to come.

Always, Two Days Until Forever

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 21:53:50 GMT

I'm feeling so many emotions right now. I'm up and down like a roller coaster. Every time I try to write a good post, it doesn't make sense. Every time I try to sort out my emotions into something definite, nothing turns out. I want to feel happy, and sometimes I am over the moon. But then I crash and I can't do anything at all. I can't sleep, I can't do something I'm supposed to, I can't concentrate, I can't believe in anything... I feel empty and dazed. I go through this every day, and I don't know why. I want to move on, but the same issues always come back around again. I wish I could get the people to stay away from me and get out of my life. I wish I could get over the problems I always cause myself to repeat. I wish there was a way for all of this change. I try to be around, but I feel so partial when I am.

Always, Two Days Until Forever